I got schooled by the barber.

So I was in the beauty salon getting my hair cut on Black Friday. Natalie suggested that I could pull off a short haircut.

Me: Hm... I don't know. I'm not thin enough to have short hair.
Natalie: What are you talking about?
Me: Only really thin girls can look good with short hair.
Barber: What! Do you think you're fat? You're not fat!

*later on, after my haircut is done, it's Charlene's turn. I turned and looked at her getting her hair cut until I noticed that there was a digital camera in her hands*

Me: What's that?
Charlene: Oh, I'm looking at pictures of [the Barber's] dinner table [on Thanksgiving]. They have a lot of food.
Barber: *speaks in sarcastic tone* You better not show her that! She might gain weight!

Sen Dai

On my hangout with Kirs, Mark and Dianne, we decided to eat at a Sushi place. Here were some of the menu items:

"Orgasmic"
"Sexy Tem"
"Booty Call"

Mark: "You should get the fried Booty Call."
Me: "= X"

....
As I finished my sushi rolls...

Me: "I'm saving my booty call for last."

Disturbed

I was at Target today, shopping on Black Friday and I walk through the kids section to cut to the registers.  I pass by a cart with a little girl (who seemed to be no older than 4 years old) and I hear her sing in tune: "Dum, dum, dee, dum, dum..."  She missed the last "dum" but man... 4 year-olds humming Rhiana's "Distrubia" is quite disturbing for meeeee!

ABC.

I was speaking nonsense with Charlene until my older sister Natalie told us to stop talking. Then I said...

Me: *talking to Natalie* This is an A and B conversation, so C you later.
*thinks for a bit*
Or is it "This is a conversation between A and B, so C you later"? Uhh...
Natalie: *perplexed look* What are you talking about?
Me: *joking around* Or maybe it was "This is a conversation between one and two"...
Natalie: *talks in a sarcastic and annoyed voice* So THREE you later...

She Said "Adobs"

I forgot that this thing existed for a while. Will is dominating, yo! But dude, reading this at 5:35AM on Black Friday literally made me LOL which led to the pillow thrown at the back of my head by my older sister (since we share a room).

----------
I was eating lunch one Sunday afternoon with my family and my sister walked in late.

Sister: "What's the ulam?" (What's the dish?)
Me: "Sinigang and Adobo."
Brother: "But Ate Ronneza just finished the Adobo."
Sister: "Aww.."
Mom: "Ay, sayang! (What a waste!) You didn't get to try my Adobs!"

----------
I was baking cupcakes to give to my relatives for Thanksgiving on Wednesday evening. My brother was helping by mixing the batter as I washed some dishes. I look over to check on him:

Me: "Whoa, slow down. It'll get messy if you do it too fast."
Brother: "That's what she said!" *giggles*
Sister (in the living room; in the middle of singing Kareoke): HAHAHAHAHA!

BTW, my brother just turned 13 last month. O_o

Sheepheads.

So at the Liwanag Thanksgiving dinner at Sam Woo's yesterday night, a couple of people (including myself) were staring at a sign at the threshold of the restaurant. The sign said (specifically), "Live Sheephead!" We were all pretty disgusted at the thought of an actual sheep's head being sold at the restaurant, but as we were all grimacing at the thought, Mark Sescon came up to our group and said,

"Sheephead is a type of fish, guys."

And then we all stared at him as he walked away.

Filipino-isms (?)

So, for Thanksgiving today, my parents decided to eat at Hometown Buffet; our relatives went to Vegas for the Thanksgiving weekend, and we didn't want to cook anything. Anyways, during our lunch at the Buffet, I had a conversation with my mom and it went something like this:



Me: Mom, were you ever a tomboy when you were younger?
Mom: A tomboy? Oh, I wasn't a tomboy -- none of the people in our family were tomboys. I know people who are tomboys, though -- my cousin was like that.
Me: Wait, mom, do you know what a tomboy is?
Mom: What is a tomboy?
Me: It's when a girl acts like a boy.
Mom: Oh, we don't act like that in our family. It's like how my cousins act.
Me: How do they act?
Mom: The girl has a girlfriend. [something along those lines...]
Me: Wait... Mom, being a tomboy doesn't mean being gay or lesbian.
Mom: That's how it is in the Philippines! Ask!
Me: Mom, in America, being a tomboy is when a girl acts like a guy.
Mom: What?
Natalie: Dad, what's a tomboy?
Dad: *just came back from getting food* It's a girl who acts like a boy.






Note, my dad is very much more immersed in Westernized culture than my mom is.

I just thought it was pretty hilarious; I wish I brought a tape-recorder.

Sam Woo.

"I feel like I just went on a journey."
- Me to Charmaine after we were escorted all the way to the back room during a recent visit to Sam Woo's

original sin

as i was grading homework, i stumbled upon a student's... interesting answer.

Q: The effects of sin of Adam and Eve was passed on to the whole human race. What was this sin called?

A: "The sin is called the bad things."

Tying the knot

[12:50] JO: c'mon get married
[12:50] JO: you're young
[12:50] JO: a fertile
[12:50] ME: not til later
[12:50] JO: okay
[12:50] ME: maybe when im 29, 30
[12:50] JO: 25 is the limit
[12:50] JO: what
[12:50] JO: thats old
[12:50] ME: LOL
[12:50] ME: what?
[12:50] JO: OLD
[12:50] ME: 25?
[12:50] JO: 30
[12:50] JO: god
[12:50] JO: lol
[12:50] JO: okay fine
[12:50] JO: if you're in gradschool
[12:51] JO: just take out loans
[12:51] JO: then u can get married right away
[12:51] ME: ill take out loans to pay for my wedding?
[12:51] JO: why not
[12:51] JO: you'll pay it with your wifey
[12:51] JO: tell her to take out loans
[12:51] ME: HAHAHAAHHAA

Spooner.

Joyce: How was escrima tonight, Robin?
Robin: Oh, it was alright.
Joyce: The usual?
Robin: The usual. And I ripped my pants even more at my crotch. I think these pants may have to retire.
Joyce: Aw, really? Can I see? *realizing what I said sounded really wrong*
Robin: ...
Joyce: I didn't mean it! We're even now, after that "spooning" incident.
Robin: This is exactly why we're both in the "It's Not My Fault What You Said Can Be Misconstrued As A Sexual Innuendo" facebook group!

(Ruben and Robin getting ready to leave the apartment while I was staring off in space and glancing at them.)
Robin: What, thinking about my crotch now?

A milli, a milli, a milli

The teacher was explaining the descendants of Abraham when all of a sudden...

Kid #1: "If you die, how many lives can God give you after? Can he grant you a million lives? Like in Grand Theft Auto?"

...

Same kid, different question.

Kid #1: "You know how there's the gates of Heaven? Are there gates in Hell?"

Teacher: "Um... Sure."

Kid #1: "Our class took a field trip once..."

Teacher: "To the gates of Hell?!"

The Failure of the Great Southern California ShakeOut

So, I actually didn't hear anyone say anything interesting or funny, but I just thought that I should write about my experience during the Great Southern California ShakeOut.

[While at NACS in the UCI Student Center]

*ding ding ding*

Random voice from overhead: This is just a friendly reminder to participate in the Great Southern California Shakeout. Drop and cover at 10am, and hold that position for a few minutes, then proceed to your daily activities. [he said something to that effect]

Girl in NACS: I'm not going to do that. Are you? *talking to a friend, but I couldn't understand what the friend said*

So, 10am finally rolled along. I actually ducked and covered under the table I was sitting at in NACS. I looked around the room to see if anyone was ducking and covering. No one did anything. Finally, I saw this girl who had just stood up from the floor. I thought that she participated in the ShakeOut and I got pretty amused. It turns out, she was unplugging her laptop and retrieving the plug from under the table.


That is all.

The rave

A friend and I were driving home late one night. All of a sudden we got caught in some strange traffic and saw what looked like an accident on the freeway.

Friend: "What's going on?"

Me: "It might be an accident. Oh, cop cars. Do you see the lights?"

Friend: "Looks like there's a rave going on."

truth

This happened awhile back during the good ole' days of being an undergrad. Before upper division got the best of me, lol. I was walking through Aldrich Park when I overheard this...

Girl 1: *cough cough ack ack*
Girl 2: "Are you sick?"
Girl 1: "Do you have a cigarette?"

I don't know about you, but that was pretty ridiculous, lol.

Thunder vs. lightning

I overheard these two girls talking a while ago while I was in one of the restrooms on the UCI campus.

Girl #1: I look like I've been struck by thunder!
Girl #2: You don't get struck by thunder! You get struck by lightning!
Girl #1: Ohhhh! See? I'm so out of it today.

Mortal Sin

As an assistant catechist for a class full of boys, I understand that kids can be pretty curious. Today's topic was on the Sacrament of Confession and the teacher was explaining Mortal Sin.

Teacher: "A mortal sin is like committing murder and having the full intention to do it."

Kid #1: "What if you kill a cow?"

---

Teacher: "God will have mercy on you forever."

Kid #2: "24 hours?"

the pilot

i know people can say the most insightful, poetic and enlightening things. however, i think they can even say the funniest and most amusing things as well. plus, there have been times when we've been guilty of saying such stuff. so i say, why not document it? basically, i think we can each be inspired (and obviously entertained) by the words that come out of the mouths of people and of our own. so feel free to add ANYTHING. no boundaries whatsoever. give it a go!