Passages

During a training session.

Lady: "The students need to know how important it is to read the passages because the ones on the CST are extremely long."

Girl: "Yeeuh. They're RIDIKULUS."

Days After Christmas

Every year, my mom goes off to the stores on the 26th to see if they have any good Christmas Decorations on sale. Usually, she aims for Garlands to sent do the PI or new ornaments and whatnot.

Today, I went to Costco with my mom and sister. And when you go to Costco, you usually can't leave without a cart full of food and household items.

As we walked to the car, my mom says: "Ay, nako! My balls are estill in da truhnk." And I didn't want to be all stupid, so I just laughed in my head.

When I popped the trunk open, I said, "Whoa. You have some big balls there."
(They really were BIG tho! lol)

My sister: "That's what she said!"

-----------------
We stopped by another local store to buy bread and the country song entitled, "Landslide," was playing on KOST.

My sister: "Hey, it's the Chicksie Dicks."
Me: O_O "What did you just say?!"

That's what she said

My sister comes in my room, right before she heads to bed, snacking on some leftover Vienna sausages from dinner.

Me: "Ewww, are you gonna brush your teeth? You're gonna have sausage breath in the morning."
Sis: "That's what she said."
Me: O_o

simbang gabi, day 5

Our guest Filipino priest during his insightful homily:

Fr. Abreza: "God created the world in how may days?"
Congregation: (What I heard from my perspective) "6".."6".."6".."6"...
Fr. Abreza: "All I hear is 'Sssssshh'."
---

Fr: "God made everything good. The world...good; the animals...good; human beings...good; Me, Father Abreza...VERY GOOD!"

A job opening?... maybe....

Simbang Gabi @ St. Ann's Catholic Church w/ Will's friend, His Excellency Bishop Oscar Solis...This is how a conversation with Bishop went while preparing for Mass....

Bishop: how are you today? are you still in school?
me: o i just graduated in june..
Bishop- o what now- are you working or looking for work?
me- o yea.. just looking
Bishop- oo are you looking for work?... do you want to work?... i have a position for you
(me excited and curious i said...)
me- oo yea sure.. what kind of work?...
bishop- ook well.. let's trade positions... i'll take a vacation and you take my place for a while..i'm serious. i'll take a break and you can be bishop
(we both started laughing, however he was being serious hahahha ay nako)

THE END

I always thought I was a girl?

So, I was watching A Christmas Carol with my sisters and dad today, and then this conversation came up:

Dad: Let me see your hand.
Me: *takes out hand*
Dad: See, you can tell a man from a woman if you look at the length of their index finger and ring finger. A woman's index finger is longer than their ring finger, and a man's ring finger is longer than their index finger.
Me: But dad, my left index finger is shorter than my ring finger.
Nat: Dad, it's just genetics! Here, this is how you tell a man from a woman. Charlene, stand up.
Me: *stands up*
Nat: Look at the bottom of your foot.
Me: *looks at foot*
Nat: No, you did it the wrong way! That's how a guy looks at their foot!
Me: Dad, I think I'm a man.
Dad: *to Nat and Maine* I don't know what happened to Charlene.

Purgatory

And so the list goes on. One of the kids inquired about something the teacher mentioned:

Teacher: "You have heaven, hell and purgatory. Purgatory is kinda like...a halfway house..."

Kid: "Burgla-tory?"

ROFLburger

I can't help but laugh everytime. My Dad's ringtone:

Buy You A Drink - T-Pain Feat. Yung Joc

EDIT: OMG. IT WENT OFF DURING MASS.

No one's perfect

[00:31] AA: well you should know NOw...you're catechizng the future CHURCH
[00:31] AA: hahah
[00:32] ME: LOL
[00:33] ME: stop doing that
[00:33] ME: hahaha
[00:33] ME: hey we're not perfect
[00:33] AA: i didnt say you were perfect..
[00:34] AA: you're learning at the same time they are
[00:34] AA: you catechize them via class room..
[00:34] AA: i catechize you via aim
[00:37] ME: LOL

something informative...

Let’s learn Greek and Latin today

Feast of the Immaculate Conception….a post which should have been done yesterday

Priest: Today we celebrate the conception of Jesus in the womb of Mary, right?

People: YES

Priest: WRONG!!!!!! Today we celebrate the conception of Mary in the womb of Ann, her mother.

Since Mary is our mother, Ann and Joachim are our grandparents… yea!?!? Okay…

Anyway what is really learned today was a new Greek phrase called Kytro Mene(sp??) which means, Hail who has been made perfect already (past tense)- this is equivalent to Latin Ave Maria gratia plena, Hail Mary full of grace. The Greek sounds better because this verse in the Bible has been kinda lost in translate over the years. But anyway, this is living proof in the Bible if other denominations ask where this feast came from. Well it says right here in the old Greek, when the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary saying Hail Mary, who is full of grace, the Lord is with thee. How does this related? Well according to a Greek scholar says Father, when the angel appeared he was the one bowing to Mary. Usually when the angels appeared to the prophets it was the prophets who were faced down in the glory and splendor of the heavenly being. But in this case since Mary is blessed without sin whatsoever, the angel was bowing down to her NOT in worship but out of respect. Just as would any person would greet a king or queen, you would bow or curtsy. And in this case the angel curtsied per say to the Virgin Mary, giving her respect that She has been made perfect for the first ‘home” or tabernacle of Jesus in her womb.

The Church made this feast day in the 1854 a few years before the apparition at Lourdes, France. In this year 1854, the Church made this the idea of the Immaculate Conception a dogma, meaning having Scripture evidence and first hand accounts from the apostles and early church fathers. Other evidence points to Jesus being the Son of God and Mary, however would God the Father allow His only begotten Son to be born of a woman with sin. I think not. So therefore, God created Mary sinless from the beginning of her conception in the womb of Ann so that a true, clean and holy dwelling place was made perfect for Jesus. When our Lady appeared to St. Bernadette, she confirmed the feast day by saying “I am the Immaculate Conception.” (1858)

Another supplemental “homily” per say for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception hahaha

Things to remember…

English- Full of grace

Tagalog- Napupuno nang grasya

Latin- Gratia Plena

Greek- Kytro Mene ­– she who has been perfected already (past tense) I say past tense because it was done already by God at Mary’s conception, so she is the Immaculate Conception

Other words to know and acronyms for them

+ AMDG- Ad Majorem Dei Gloria = For the Greater Glory of God

+ AMDGH – Ad Majorem Dei Gloria et Honor = For the Greater Glory and Honor of God

Sometimes you see this sign on some churches or vestments A and M overlapping each other

We, even me, before thought it was a symbol for Ave Maria, BUT it is wrong. It is actually Latin for Auspice Mariam, which means “under the care/help of Mary” now you know the correct one.

So yea that is all…. I felt like I wanted to post here but I had nothing funny to blog about. Most of these I was laughing hysterically loud in my own room just reading these posts. Hahaha

Well this one was informative and now you know, you’re a better Catholic than before. Will said just post so here it is.

Peace be with you….Pax Vobis…

Pac-Man

Just outside the church after attending mass, my mom overhears a lady talking to a priest with a familiar name.

Lady: "Father, are you related to Manny Pacquiao?"
Priest: "No, my aunt."

I got schooled by the barber.

So I was in the beauty salon getting my hair cut on Black Friday. Natalie suggested that I could pull off a short haircut.

Me: Hm... I don't know. I'm not thin enough to have short hair.
Natalie: What are you talking about?
Me: Only really thin girls can look good with short hair.
Barber: What! Do you think you're fat? You're not fat!

*later on, after my haircut is done, it's Charlene's turn. I turned and looked at her getting her hair cut until I noticed that there was a digital camera in her hands*

Me: What's that?
Charlene: Oh, I'm looking at pictures of [the Barber's] dinner table [on Thanksgiving]. They have a lot of food.
Barber: *speaks in sarcastic tone* You better not show her that! She might gain weight!

Sen Dai

On my hangout with Kirs, Mark and Dianne, we decided to eat at a Sushi place. Here were some of the menu items:

"Orgasmic"
"Sexy Tem"
"Booty Call"

Mark: "You should get the fried Booty Call."
Me: "= X"

....
As I finished my sushi rolls...

Me: "I'm saving my booty call for last."

Disturbed

I was at Target today, shopping on Black Friday and I walk through the kids section to cut to the registers.  I pass by a cart with a little girl (who seemed to be no older than 4 years old) and I hear her sing in tune: "Dum, dum, dee, dum, dum..."  She missed the last "dum" but man... 4 year-olds humming Rhiana's "Distrubia" is quite disturbing for meeeee!

ABC.

I was speaking nonsense with Charlene until my older sister Natalie told us to stop talking. Then I said...

Me: *talking to Natalie* This is an A and B conversation, so C you later.
*thinks for a bit*
Or is it "This is a conversation between A and B, so C you later"? Uhh...
Natalie: *perplexed look* What are you talking about?
Me: *joking around* Or maybe it was "This is a conversation between one and two"...
Natalie: *talks in a sarcastic and annoyed voice* So THREE you later...

She Said "Adobs"

I forgot that this thing existed for a while. Will is dominating, yo! But dude, reading this at 5:35AM on Black Friday literally made me LOL which led to the pillow thrown at the back of my head by my older sister (since we share a room).

----------
I was eating lunch one Sunday afternoon with my family and my sister walked in late.

Sister: "What's the ulam?" (What's the dish?)
Me: "Sinigang and Adobo."
Brother: "But Ate Ronneza just finished the Adobo."
Sister: "Aww.."
Mom: "Ay, sayang! (What a waste!) You didn't get to try my Adobs!"

----------
I was baking cupcakes to give to my relatives for Thanksgiving on Wednesday evening. My brother was helping by mixing the batter as I washed some dishes. I look over to check on him:

Me: "Whoa, slow down. It'll get messy if you do it too fast."
Brother: "That's what she said!" *giggles*
Sister (in the living room; in the middle of singing Kareoke): HAHAHAHAHA!

BTW, my brother just turned 13 last month. O_o

Sheepheads.

So at the Liwanag Thanksgiving dinner at Sam Woo's yesterday night, a couple of people (including myself) were staring at a sign at the threshold of the restaurant. The sign said (specifically), "Live Sheephead!" We were all pretty disgusted at the thought of an actual sheep's head being sold at the restaurant, but as we were all grimacing at the thought, Mark Sescon came up to our group and said,

"Sheephead is a type of fish, guys."

And then we all stared at him as he walked away.

Filipino-isms (?)

So, for Thanksgiving today, my parents decided to eat at Hometown Buffet; our relatives went to Vegas for the Thanksgiving weekend, and we didn't want to cook anything. Anyways, during our lunch at the Buffet, I had a conversation with my mom and it went something like this:



Me: Mom, were you ever a tomboy when you were younger?
Mom: A tomboy? Oh, I wasn't a tomboy -- none of the people in our family were tomboys. I know people who are tomboys, though -- my cousin was like that.
Me: Wait, mom, do you know what a tomboy is?
Mom: What is a tomboy?
Me: It's when a girl acts like a boy.
Mom: Oh, we don't act like that in our family. It's like how my cousins act.
Me: How do they act?
Mom: The girl has a girlfriend. [something along those lines...]
Me: Wait... Mom, being a tomboy doesn't mean being gay or lesbian.
Mom: That's how it is in the Philippines! Ask!
Me: Mom, in America, being a tomboy is when a girl acts like a guy.
Mom: What?
Natalie: Dad, what's a tomboy?
Dad: *just came back from getting food* It's a girl who acts like a boy.






Note, my dad is very much more immersed in Westernized culture than my mom is.

I just thought it was pretty hilarious; I wish I brought a tape-recorder.

Sam Woo.

"I feel like I just went on a journey."
- Me to Charmaine after we were escorted all the way to the back room during a recent visit to Sam Woo's

original sin

as i was grading homework, i stumbled upon a student's... interesting answer.

Q: The effects of sin of Adam and Eve was passed on to the whole human race. What was this sin called?

A: "The sin is called the bad things."

Tying the knot

[12:50] JO: c'mon get married
[12:50] JO: you're young
[12:50] JO: a fertile
[12:50] ME: not til later
[12:50] JO: okay
[12:50] ME: maybe when im 29, 30
[12:50] JO: 25 is the limit
[12:50] JO: what
[12:50] JO: thats old
[12:50] ME: LOL
[12:50] ME: what?
[12:50] JO: OLD
[12:50] ME: 25?
[12:50] JO: 30
[12:50] JO: god
[12:50] JO: lol
[12:50] JO: okay fine
[12:50] JO: if you're in gradschool
[12:51] JO: just take out loans
[12:51] JO: then u can get married right away
[12:51] ME: ill take out loans to pay for my wedding?
[12:51] JO: why not
[12:51] JO: you'll pay it with your wifey
[12:51] JO: tell her to take out loans
[12:51] ME: HAHAHAAHHAA

Spooner.

Joyce: How was escrima tonight, Robin?
Robin: Oh, it was alright.
Joyce: The usual?
Robin: The usual. And I ripped my pants even more at my crotch. I think these pants may have to retire.
Joyce: Aw, really? Can I see? *realizing what I said sounded really wrong*
Robin: ...
Joyce: I didn't mean it! We're even now, after that "spooning" incident.
Robin: This is exactly why we're both in the "It's Not My Fault What You Said Can Be Misconstrued As A Sexual Innuendo" facebook group!

(Ruben and Robin getting ready to leave the apartment while I was staring off in space and glancing at them.)
Robin: What, thinking about my crotch now?

A milli, a milli, a milli

The teacher was explaining the descendants of Abraham when all of a sudden...

Kid #1: "If you die, how many lives can God give you after? Can he grant you a million lives? Like in Grand Theft Auto?"

...

Same kid, different question.

Kid #1: "You know how there's the gates of Heaven? Are there gates in Hell?"

Teacher: "Um... Sure."

Kid #1: "Our class took a field trip once..."

Teacher: "To the gates of Hell?!"

The Failure of the Great Southern California ShakeOut

So, I actually didn't hear anyone say anything interesting or funny, but I just thought that I should write about my experience during the Great Southern California ShakeOut.

[While at NACS in the UCI Student Center]

*ding ding ding*

Random voice from overhead: This is just a friendly reminder to participate in the Great Southern California Shakeout. Drop and cover at 10am, and hold that position for a few minutes, then proceed to your daily activities. [he said something to that effect]

Girl in NACS: I'm not going to do that. Are you? *talking to a friend, but I couldn't understand what the friend said*

So, 10am finally rolled along. I actually ducked and covered under the table I was sitting at in NACS. I looked around the room to see if anyone was ducking and covering. No one did anything. Finally, I saw this girl who had just stood up from the floor. I thought that she participated in the ShakeOut and I got pretty amused. It turns out, she was unplugging her laptop and retrieving the plug from under the table.


That is all.

The rave

A friend and I were driving home late one night. All of a sudden we got caught in some strange traffic and saw what looked like an accident on the freeway.

Friend: "What's going on?"

Me: "It might be an accident. Oh, cop cars. Do you see the lights?"

Friend: "Looks like there's a rave going on."

truth

This happened awhile back during the good ole' days of being an undergrad. Before upper division got the best of me, lol. I was walking through Aldrich Park when I overheard this...

Girl 1: *cough cough ack ack*
Girl 2: "Are you sick?"
Girl 1: "Do you have a cigarette?"

I don't know about you, but that was pretty ridiculous, lol.

Thunder vs. lightning

I overheard these two girls talking a while ago while I was in one of the restrooms on the UCI campus.

Girl #1: I look like I've been struck by thunder!
Girl #2: You don't get struck by thunder! You get struck by lightning!
Girl #1: Ohhhh! See? I'm so out of it today.

Mortal Sin

As an assistant catechist for a class full of boys, I understand that kids can be pretty curious. Today's topic was on the Sacrament of Confession and the teacher was explaining Mortal Sin.

Teacher: "A mortal sin is like committing murder and having the full intention to do it."

Kid #1: "What if you kill a cow?"

---

Teacher: "God will have mercy on you forever."

Kid #2: "24 hours?"

the pilot

i know people can say the most insightful, poetic and enlightening things. however, i think they can even say the funniest and most amusing things as well. plus, there have been times when we've been guilty of saying such stuff. so i say, why not document it? basically, i think we can each be inspired (and obviously entertained) by the words that come out of the mouths of people and of our own. so feel free to add ANYTHING. no boundaries whatsoever. give it a go!